Do mermaids use knives and forks when they eat?
    No, they use their fish fingers!

          What did the sea say to the Little Mermaid?
    Nothing, it just waved!

What has beautiful hair, a pretty face, two arms, a fish's tail, looks like a mermaid, but isn't a mermaid?
    A photograph of a mermaid!

           What did Little Red Riding-Hood say when she saw the big, bad wolf   wearing sun-glasses?
     Nothing . . . she didn't recognize him!

             What did Little Red Riding-Hood say when she saw the big, bad wolf?
     There's the big, bad wolf!

Who shouted "Knickers!" at the big, bad wolf?
     Little Rude Riding Hood!

              What birds spend all their time on their knees ?
     Birds of prey !

What do you call a woodpecker with no beak ?
A headbanger !

              What does a queen bee do when she burps ?
      Issues a royal pardon !

When is the best time to buy budgies ?
When they're going cheep !

              What do bees do if they want to use public transport ?
      Wait at a buzz stop !

What do you get if you cross a bee with a skunk ?
An animal that stinks and stings !

              Why did Hansel eat all the liquorice off the witch's house?
      It takes all sorts!

Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!

              Why was Cinderella no good at playing hockey?
      Because she was always running away from the ball!

What did the ogre get for his birthday?
Another year older!

                What do you give an ogre with great big feet?
       Lots of space.

Why do ogres wear flowery embroidered braces?
To hold their trousers up!

                 Why did the Ugly Duckling's parents fly south for the winter?
        Because it was too far to walk!

Why do dragons sleep all day?
So that they can fight knights!